


Morning Routine

by TynxCann



Series: Only a Routine [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 14:41:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4670477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TynxCann/pseuds/TynxCann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata has a routine of his own everyday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Morning Routine

**Author's Note:**

> And so the angst begins once again.
> 
> This story is a sequel to one of my other fics, "Routine" so I recommend checking that one out before reading this one. I'm sorry for the delay, I've been on vacation but I hope you enjoy. Thank you.

Hinata knows that there are a lot of beautiful things in life, but if he had to name one, it would the the contours of Kageyama's back.

He lays in bed, sheets pulled all the way to his chest and head resting against a flat pillow. From the minimal amount of moonlight that streams into his room he is able to map out the features of Kageyama's back who is sitting up in bed. He can clearly see his wings bulging out, the small lines of muscle that lead down his neck and to his lower back. The almost noticeable ribs jutting out from the side, and the heavy shoulders that slump down as if they were carrying something big and heavy.

It is this that Hinata would call a beauty on it's own. Something deserving of being in a museum and seen by all, but also hidden away so that the eyes of others cannot tarnish the beauty of such a figure. It is this that Hinata would call beautiful but it is this that Hinata would call fearful as well.

He fears the kinds of feeling being weighed down on those shoulders. He fears that he is able to see bone jutting out in places it shouldn't be, and he fears that the face Kageyama is making is one full of great sorrow and regret.

It is this that he fears and loves.

He thinks about reaching for Kageyama's hands but his body feels like it is locked in place. Almost as if a force in the world is telling him to let it be. Telling him that whatever actions may arise in the seconds, minutes or hours that will pass by should be left to destiny to decide. He is an outsider that should not change the course of history, and when such thoughts plague his mind he feels like curling up into a ball and crying for eternity.

His stomach churns when Kageyama makes a small movement, hand resting against the edge of the bed and deep sigh escaping his lips. His head momentarily moves to look outside the window and when Hinata cranes his head to sneak a peek of Kageyama's face he feels great terror overtake his body. Almost as if all muscles have been paralyzed and all feelings sucked away in an instant.

He isn't able to see Kageyama's face and can only see his bangs covering his features. Long and silky locks falling over skin that was probably tainted from years of abuse.

If Hinata had control of his body and could move his arms, he would have reached out to touch those locks of hair and brush it back. To see a gentle and caring smile filled with love for their dearest one. To see eyes as blue as ice, as blue as the vast sky that traverses from one land to another. He wishes to gently cares Kageyama's soft skin and giggle when the back of his hand is kissed.

Tears roll and sobs are forced inside Hinata's body.

Hinata wishes to see the same dorky look Kageyama gives him when they play volleyball and when he is trying to understand a simple math question. His heart aches, he feels like the air is being sucked out of his body when he imagines the frown on Kageyama's face dissolve and turn into one of his rare smiles.

To have Kageyama push him down onto the bed and tickle him until he can no longer make words, just incomprehensible sounds that sound too inhumane for his small body.

To hold hands in the coldest day of winter. A glove on one hand and the other laid bare to be heated up by their body warmth-

Just even feeling Kageyama's body, his skin, knowing that blood pumps through his veins and that his heart beats with every second that pases.

He wishes to love Kageyama, to be loved back. To be happy, to be happy together.

To be forever with each other, through thick and thin. To know that this isn't just a simple high school love that will break as soon as their third year rolls around. To know that this shall continue through time and space, from one universe to the next. No matter they be enemies or friends, family or lovers; to forever know that they shall never be separated no matter what.

This Hinata wishes for. This Hinata loves, this Hinata fears.

Because when he looks up, with teary eyes glazed over and smile on the verge of crumbling, body convulsing and hand clutching his chest to make sure that this is still a reality, he knows that none of that could ever be possible.

Kageyama looks away from the window. Eyes momentarily looking to the bedside table and taking that dreaded bottle of pills before getting up and walking to the door.

"...o."

He walks as if he is leaving everything behind. As if this is the end of all his nightmares, everything being left behind and the new future he awaits just behind that door.

"No…"

His hand grasps the door knob, the silver meal probably feeling cool on his skin.

"Ple...e."

He turns the knob, a chill and sickening wind blowing into the room. Kageyama takes a deep breath and clutches the bottle of pills with all his might. Hinata tries getting another word out but when he sees movement, when he sees Kageyama turn, his face looking down at him with the gentlest of smiles and blue eye looking at him with the greatest adoration, Hinata can't help but shriek until his throat can't take anymore.

Kageyama walks out and the door slams shut.

Hinata sobs into pillow and the sun from the window filters in.

If Hinata had to say what what the most beautiful and scariest thing in this world is, it was the dreams that consume his nights. Always there for when he wakes up in the morning to follow his routine of crying and wishing for what is gone until he realizes that what he's been yearning for will never come back.

**Author's Note:**

> . Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this fic. If you have any questions please ask and if ever needed the tag for this fic is "hqfic:routine". That is all, thank you.


End file.
